Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
this will be a night to untag.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
