i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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