i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
apparently the secret to your success is patron
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
