yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
