if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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