Soap is not a condiment
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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