So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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