I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
