It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
false alarm, still single
Randomize
