also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
