Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize