whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
