My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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