Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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