her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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