I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
