Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
