You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i think i just lost a toe
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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