Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Found the puke drawer
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
