Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
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Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
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Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize