i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
birth control should be required to get into college
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
