i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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