just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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