week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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