we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
