Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
