Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
