so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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