I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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