we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
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we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
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Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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