New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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