I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
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just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
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i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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