We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
