She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize