He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
