I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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