I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
