You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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