There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
