We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
