Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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