respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
not ubering you a puppy
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
