Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
