so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
