Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
