Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
