just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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