sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
