I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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