i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
