dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
