She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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