do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
