Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
