He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
