You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
