i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
They took my balls.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
