I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
