He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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